Bi-monthly?
O.K. O.K. So how does bi-monthly updates sound?? I honestly just can't do a daily and weekly just didn't happen this week. Not sure why I can't do daily, because I'm not on the computer daily I guess. And if I have some spare time to sneak away, i have journalling homework I should be doing. so, sigh.
Tonight in class we were talking about fears. I found it interesting to see what I wrote. I'm all about categories and nice boxes so i could only write what I was currently afraid of. I decided that each day I will write myself a list of the 20 things that I fear based on categories. Like what did I fear as a child. And what do I fear in my marriage. And what do I fear as a parent. Because they are all so different.
So I think the overall theme I got from my fears was that I'm afraid most of the things I can not control. Or of losing control. For example, I am afraid of my little girl being molested. don't they say 1 in 4? or something like that? And I'm afraid of my parents dying before I"m ready to let them go. but i can't really control these things. I mean I can to a point but without never leaving my daughter's side or letting her have any sense of independence, it's all a bit of a risk. And my parents dying, I"ll never be ready to let them go. It'll always feel like they were snatched from me. It's out of my control. and I really don't like that.
Funny enough my biggest reason for not going skydiving is because I think being a quadrapalegic would be the most difficult thing in the world for me to do. I'm a fidgiter and I can't even imagine life without movement that I controlled. Isn't it interesting that the biggest thing I can think of that would seem like a living death to me is all about having no physical control over anything. Does this make me a control freak?? Anyway, for those of you reading please don't check more than once a week and I won't feel bad for not writing. If there's an earlier update consider yourself "surprised"!!!! tata
Tonight in class we were talking about fears. I found it interesting to see what I wrote. I'm all about categories and nice boxes so i could only write what I was currently afraid of. I decided that each day I will write myself a list of the 20 things that I fear based on categories. Like what did I fear as a child. And what do I fear in my marriage. And what do I fear as a parent. Because they are all so different.
So I think the overall theme I got from my fears was that I'm afraid most of the things I can not control. Or of losing control. For example, I am afraid of my little girl being molested. don't they say 1 in 4? or something like that? And I'm afraid of my parents dying before I"m ready to let them go. but i can't really control these things. I mean I can to a point but without never leaving my daughter's side or letting her have any sense of independence, it's all a bit of a risk. And my parents dying, I"ll never be ready to let them go. It'll always feel like they were snatched from me. It's out of my control. and I really don't like that.
Funny enough my biggest reason for not going skydiving is because I think being a quadrapalegic would be the most difficult thing in the world for me to do. I'm a fidgiter and I can't even imagine life without movement that I controlled. Isn't it interesting that the biggest thing I can think of that would seem like a living death to me is all about having no physical control over anything. Does this make me a control freak?? Anyway, for those of you reading please don't check more than once a week and I won't feel bad for not writing. If there's an earlier update consider yourself "surprised"!!!! tata
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