Mayhem and Motherhood: December 2005

Saturday, December 31, 2005

I'm back...

yes from christmas and other places. i've been on internet withdrawl as our computer went through some crazy hard drive crash after a mysterious game of Elmo's preschool went dreadfully wrong. See this is why kids should just stay off the computer. well, it was really me with emma on my lap so i guess i was kinda involved....

anyway, not sure why no capitals today. my loving hubby bought me a new, slick keypad (?is that what you call it) with a wireless mouse. it's lovely. no more stuttering, no more taking out my agression on the keys just to get it to work. a truly thoughtful gift. and it's black and silver, very flashy looking. the only problem is I can't see the letters in the dark so now i have to type with more than the computer screen light on. (i usually type with clothes on anyway)

is anyone else out there feel like they have to recover from christmas? My new lease on christmas was definately put to the test but the good news is I only left one family gathering crying. probably due just as much to my abundance of pregnancy hormones as to the stress of making it to the events.

Tomorrow jon and emma are off to mexico and i'm terribly emotional about this. But this week i've been terribly emotional about tomato soup but anyway, looking forward and dreading this week all in the same breath.

On a high note, i'm 28 weeks pregnant now and the little tykes now have a 90% survival rate if born now. this is a significant milestone. anyway, no real profound things to say. enjoy what's left of this year.
Rhonda at 1:33 AM

Monday, December 19, 2005

Revamping my christmas

My mom gave me a book to read. It was called 100 ways to simplify your christmas. It was an easy read and I finished it over lunch today. However it made me think of some things that felt empowering as I tackle this challenge of a season.

I've often felt quite scrooge like because I hate giving gifts out of obligation, and think the chaos of the season is insane, and don't appreciate all the hard work going into the meals and nicely decorated packages that people share with me. Then I read this book and realized I wasn't the only one and I could ACTUALLY do things differently.

Her first challenge was to think about what you like about the holidays and what you dislike. I never realized I had an option not to buy my family members gifts. Or that I did not need to participate any longer in things I wasn't all for. Even if people think I'm scrooge like, or don't get it, or criticize me for it. It's my celebration of the season after all isn't it? And I totally feel like I miss out on the real point year after year.

She even had a story about a lady who preferred to spend the holidays alone to reflect and spent the whole 2 week holiday season ALONE not accepting any invitations or hosting(even from her family and kids). Well to me this was extreme but if she can do it, why can't I do what others won't get?

I think most of us don't attempt to change anything because of guilt. Because we feel cheap, or unappreciative, don't want to come across as poo-pooing our parents traditions, afraid of how people will interpret our actions, afraid to rock the boat. I got some great ideas of things to implement with my kids when they are a bit older to create MEMORIES as opposed to GUILT. And probably the biggest realization I had was that i needed to tell people why I do or do not do what I do. Or moreso why I will no longer be doing what I have done.

Anyway, it felt like the beginning of something new today. And that's always exciting.
Rhonda at 9:48 PM

Friday, December 16, 2005

To shave or not to shave?

I am really looking forward to tomorrow. A night in the city with my best friend doing, well, whatever the heck we want without ANY kiddies. Doesn't that sound divine?

So I haven't seen a movie in the theatre since? hmm the beginning of summer. And it wasn't even good. The closest theatre in Winkler always happens to have only stuff I don't want to see whenever I'm in the mood to go see a flick. Anyway, I digress...

So a movie. Looking forward to that luxury. Oh and dinner and a catch up with Yvonne. And then of course hanging out in the pool and hottub all evening at our hotel. I bought a bikini for the beach and now am darned planning on using it to get my wear out of it since it won't see the beach. Maybe I should clean the house in it? OH or take some pregnancy photos in it.

But in preparation for the bikini event, I had to shave my legs. Now it has been at least 2 months since this event has occurred and my belly has grown enough to be terribly obtrusive. I just wanted to share that it took me almost an hour to shave in the tub thanks to the big ol' belly. Thank goodness I'm flexible to begin with. I think that is why men can not be pregnant. If they were as inflexible as Jon (and I mean kinetically) they would barely be able to get pants on, much less shave their legs with a big pregnant belly. Just a thought to prove how brilliant God really is. To think of all those little details.

So for those of you grossed out that I didn't shave the last 2 months I have a secret to share. I got my legs waxed and it was fairly painful but well worth it. I was smooth for over 3 weeks. Never has this occurred to me before. Too much information? Sorry, running out of profound things to say I guess. Anyway, I'm off to pack.
Rhonda at 1:26 PM

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

I think this is funny!

We just got the crisis pregnancy newsletter and they always have awesome, funny tidbits.

Here are my two favorites to make you laugh:


Brian invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but keep noticing how beautiful Brian's university co-ed roomate, Stephanie was.

Mrs. Hester had long been suspicious of a relationship between Brian and Stephanie, and this had only made her more concerned about the moral life of her son. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two react, Mrs. Hester started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Stephanie than met the eye.

Reading his mom's thoughts, Brian volunteered "I know what you must be thinking, but I can promise you that Stephanie and I are just roomates, that's all."

About a week later, Stephanie came to Brian saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it do you?" Brian said, "well, doubt it, but i'll send her an email just to be sure."

So he sat down and wrote, "Dear Mother, I'm not saying that you DID take the gravy ladle from the house and I'm not saying that you DID NOT take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were over for dinner. Let me know. Love, Brian."

Several days later, Brian received a letter from his mother that read, "Dear son, I'm not saying that you DO sleep with Stephanie, and I'm not saying that you DO NOT sleep with Stephanie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, mom."


If someone comes to your front door saying they are conducting a survey and asks you to take your clothes off, DO NOT DO IT!!

This is a terrible scam. They only want to see you naked!!

I wish I'd known this yesterday. I feel so stupid and cheap.
Rhonda at 9:22 PM

Monday, December 12, 2005

Being a special mommy

We are still pottytraining. And I'm o.k. with that. My little girl seems to enjoy my company when she is on the potty and will chat with me 15-20 minutes before she accomplishes her goal-that is if I let her.

I've been giving her "privacy" which basically means I am allowed to do something other than sit on the tub and coach her to concentrate and stop fooling around.

She's also started using "favorite" and "special" in the last few days in a variety of ways. Quite cute, trying out the language. Like when we got in the car last night she saw the moon and exclaimed "I see a BIG moon! It's my favorite"

So back to the potty. After some privacy, I go to see what's been accomplished. Emma invites me to "stay with me?" Then after some idle chatter she says "mommy you're very special" definately an awww moment. I grin and my heart melts wondering how she can be so cute, and so perceptive. She then goes on to say "Mommy you're my favorite". How can I argue with that? What a great kid.

As I sit on the tub enjoying this rewarding moment Emma's face becomes red as she starts concentrating hard, focusing on the reason she's on the potty. After a little effort she blurts out "HEH, that's my poop!" "It's very special" "It's my favorite poop!"

I can't help but laugh out loud at this amazing little wonder known as my Emma. Who by the way is quite special and at the present my favorite kid ever.
Rhonda at 6:18 AM

Saturday, December 10, 2005

The survivor car dilemma

So I've been watching Survivor this season fairly faithfully. This past Thursday the reward challenge was to win a brand new SUV. When the gal won it, fair and square, she was posed with a dilemma. She was offered the chance to give up the car she won in order to give the remaining 4 contestants each their OWN brand new SUV instead.


Now watching this I couldn't believe it. I kept thinking "give it up" "let more people benefit than just you" "that's what I would do". And it was interesting to hear the other contestants comments after the fact being on both sides of the argument. So she decided to keep the vehicle for herself because in the end their was no guarantee that she would end up winning the million dollars so she "had no choice". She did get voted off however, ensuring she would not win that million either.

It made me sad and angry all at the same time. How we live in one of the RICHEST continents in the world and how we are quite possibly one of the most SELFISH ones as well. I hear stories of people who travel to third world countries on a missions trip, meet the locals and are treated like kings by people who have nothing themselves. Mind you it's probably a cultural thing as well but I wondered if the same dilemma was posed to someone in a third world country to keep for yourself versus giving to 4 others if they would have chosen self.

Now even as I write this I am reminded from my high and mighty position looking down on this selfish car winner that I too once upon a time won a car. And it was a GREAT feeling. It was one of the craziest things that ever happened in my life (up to now, I guess.) And I honestly don't know if I would have given it up so that others would benefit. That makes me so ashamed as I desire to be more about others than myself. And not in a martyr way but in a "god will give me what I need - I don't have to keep it all for myself" kinda way.

So, curious. What would you have done?
Rhonda at 4:12 PM

Tis the season

So I just finished wrapping my christmas presents. Some i've been collecting since August already (which makes me feel ahead of the game) and yet no matter how early I start there are ALWAYS people I don't know what to get and wait till the December rush.

I usually enjoy giving gifts, but as of late I am sick of stuff in general. My stuff, your stuff, needing more stuff, giving useless stuff. Even giving great stuff, it's still just stuff and I have so much stuff. Why do I need more? And I know this is hard to explain to people who always know how to buy a thoughtful gift. They are the worst because you know that they usually enjoy gifts too and being so stinking thoughtful they deserve your thoughtfulness back, but I wish we could equate prayers or kind thoughts, or even sticking up for someone behind their back as a gift they would receive in the same arena as a "wrapped gift".

For me I've come to a point that I no longer WANT to give obligatory gifts. (even though I have a few under my tree) If I can't think of something you NEED or won't fill your arteries with more plaque and fat than no gift for you. But that being said, why does that need to mean I don't value you or love you or even appreciate alllll that you've contributed to my life. I wonder how other cultures work it out. Maybe I just need to become crafty(fat chance) and make stuff. Besides baking, or a nice note I suck in the craft department.

Again I feel like there is a truth out there but I just can't get my hands on it. I know the way I've been doing it isn't right but what is right?

No easy answers. I'll let you know when I figure out the questions of the universe.
Rhonda at 4:03 PM

Monday, December 05, 2005

Christa's comments...

I just read your comment about my last entry Christa and it struck me as quite profound (and not preachy)

She was bringing a parrallel between my thoughts on 3D images (what we see is not what is going on behind the scenes) and disappointments.

Interestingly enough this latest "disappointment" hasn't really gotten me down. And I don't think that it's attributed as much to a positive outlook as much as a shift in my thinking about the bigger picture. That what I see in front of me is not equal to what God is doing.

It's kind of like my musings and thoughts over the last couple of weeks really ARE connected and maybe, just maybe i'm learning a little something.

Like how to let God be in control (it's really only pretending that you are anyway)
Like how to look at life with some sense of eternity
Like how life is not always what you hope it might be BUT how do we know what is truly best for us anyway?

Thanks Christa for your insight into me.

The song that's been coming to mind since our appointment is Matt Redman's "Blessed be the name" The jist of it is to respond with "blessed be the name of the Lord" whether your situation is wonderful or tragic. Our life situations change but God does not and he is worthy of our praise always, not only when life is going our way.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me.
Rhonda at 10:19 PM

Saturday, December 03, 2005

The update....

Hello faithful readers. I feel like I'm writing a newspaper column!!hahahha.

So Friday was a really emotionally exhausting day, not to mention a really long day. We left the house at 6 am had our fetal assessment at 9 am, our dr. appt at 1245 of which we waited till almost 2 for and then drove out to Steinbach for Jon's grannies 90th birthday celebration with the extended family.

So we are home and tired. We have decided at the moment not to share our gender baby news with anyone just so we can process it ourselves without any external voices. Funny thing is that wasn't our intention. Both Jon and I have found it quite difficult in finding out their sexes (totally surprising) because it comes with mixed emotions that we weren't anticipating. We have both wondered if we did the right thing or if we would have been better off just being surprised and prepared for anything. Presently I can see so many benefits to knowing but it still doesn't make it any easier to know that knowing what we are getting also means knowing what we can't have. It's been a kind of weird grieving, saying goodbye to dreams you didn't know you actually wanted. So that being said here's what we are saying....

The fetal assessment department at St. B is AWESOME. It has totally made me feel like I"m in competent hands being taken care of by specialists who truly know what their doing. The way it works is that it's a different department than the ultrasound department where people go for their generic 20 week ultrasound. The people seeing us at the fetal assess. place are all doctors or nurses who are doing our ultrasounds. The things they are looking for are much more detailed. We got to watch the whole thing and she gave us the tour the whole time explaining what she was looking at and if she had any concerns. She assured us if she found anything that alarmed her she would immediately inform us and a doctor would be in within our visit to verify it and give us direction. That in itself is a huge relief because you wonder if them not saying something means something bad, or how long they're looking at one spot etc etc.

O.k. and here's the part I loved. I got about 10 pictures of our little ones that she totally offered and I didn't even have to pay for them. Just such a different experience than my initial experience where she was surprised I wanted them and was all flustered trying to take them. I said I'm liking it.

So we are 24 weeks along (Kristi) and the babies weigh approx 1 1/2 pounds each. Based on a single pregnancy they are 50th percentile for growth which is great. They scored 100% on their fetal apgar (not what it's really called) They both have 2 kidneys, well developed limbs, urine in their bladder which means they are swallowing, 4 chamber hearts without any visible abnormalities, skulls and brains without anything added or missing. Oh and the coolest thing is that the machines they use are super high tech. They had a feature which allowed us to see our baby in 3D. I explain it like it looks like they put skin on our babies so they dont' look like little aliens. I really wish I knew how to scan them and post on the blog site. Way too high tech for me at this point in time. Anyway, they are both breech at the moment but that can change as they are still floating pretty free. The doctor said I'm measuring 28 weeks but I think he's crazy. I feel I look bigger than that.

On a disappointing note I was strongly encouraged not to go to Mexico with these little ones. The valid arguments being that if I was to have them premature (at 28 weeks) they would not be covered by my insurance so we could return with some hefty hospital bills when they would be safe enough to travel. The other one being I guess that the kids are growing at a great rate and looking healthy, so the next few weeks are fairly crucial for me to manage my stress level and stay healthy myself. So I could pick up hepatitis in the water and pass it on to them or just the stress of waiting in the airport at what would be equivalent to 8-9 months pregnant would be enough to give me high blood pressure and then the babes are in trouble. From what i keep hearing over and over is that it really is a week to week battle to keep them in utero because every day longer is one day less in the nicu and one day closer to term is one day safer for their lungs and development. So hearing this so "STRONGLY" after I've been asking for the last 3 months for someone informed to give me advice really bugs me. I would have preferred knowing this info when we were 3 months pregnant instead of thinking what isn't a reality could be.

For those of you who don't know, Jon's parents decided to take all their kids, spouses and grandkids to Mexico this year. We've been planning it since last January and we actually waited to get pregnant based on not having a newborn to take. So thinking 6 months along would be safe to go (which it IS if your having ONE baby) this is when we aimed for. So the irony being we planned our pregnancy around this trip and in the end I still can't go. This was just disappointing and seeming unfair.

Comments including %$#@#$$$$ words welcome as you remind me I'm whining about something most people never get the opportunity to do because of this super huge blessing of twins accepted.

Sooooo, that's all. Any questions?
Rhonda at 11:37 PM

Thursday, December 01, 2005

3D images

I was reading the comics this weekend and had this wild thought(wild for me).

It was as I was trying to "see" the 3D image in the paper. Do you know the one's I mean. Where what you see is a flurry of activity of little angels or colors but if you put it up to your nose and then slowly pull it away another picture within the picture becomes obvious. And it's a 3D image.

Read no further if you haven't followed the above.

My thoughts as of late are that I don't think my reality is necessarily God's reality. The way I see the world and how it works in its linear state I'm coming to sense is not the way things are Truly working. It's like I'm living in a bit of a mirage that sometimes I get glances through to the deeper workings but often just live on the images of what I can see around me.

I'm just processing so bear with me. My analogy was in regards to the kingdom of this world and the kingdom of God. I think I have a fairly good grasp on how the kingdom of this world operates. If you're nice to people they like you (for the most part). If you work hard at a job you make a wage and then become "successful". If you make mistakes your penalty depends on the degree of your mistake like getting a speeding ticket versus killing somebody.

However in the Kingdom of God the rules don't often seem to be the same. Theirs stuff like Grace that covers a multitude of sins, and then there's sin where God says a sin starts in your heart and their isn't much distinction for him between what is thought and what is acted out. My point being I think for so long I've tried to fit the two together as opposed to see them as totally different. I've believed the kingdom of God relied on my success and effort and goodness like my efforts are rewarded in the Kingdom of this world. But like the 3D picture I'm thinking that their really is another reality in that 3D image that I don't totally have a clear view of, that will change the way I live out my life as the two kingdoms intersect here in my life.

I think at times I've seen something come into view but it's never been the whole picture. I'm excited to think of what God has for me to see, the picture behind the picture.

For those of you confused(as I am rereading this) my intention for blogging is foremost to process my thoughts and have a place to record them. I'm sorry if them being unclear or unfinished or possibly inaccurate is irritating. I'll accept these comments as well!! So I'm going to go sit in my tub and chew on my analogy.
Rhonda at 1:27 PM

Tired cranky and done

Yesterday was my official last day of work for the next 16 months. Wow that seems like an awesome-ly long time. I'm thoroughly exhausted after just one regular shift and so thankful I don't have to push myself any longer to try to continue working.

Tomorrow is another big day. We have our fetal assessment and are hoping to find out who we are planning to meet in weeks to months. We have yet decided if it's a public knowledge thing or if we'll just keep it to ourselves and at least let somethings be a surprise to everyone else.

So very exciting. Today I've been trying to sleep but I'm too cranky to sleep. Isn't that sound sad? It's usually one of my favorite things. Getting taken in by my comfy sheets and having my super puffy duvet all around me. I often wake up or go to sleep with a smile on my face because I truly love my bed. Oh well. At least a nice hot bubble bath awaits me...
Rhonda at 1:21 PM