Disappointments
Funny how this should come up after my ever so insightful (being sarcastic) blog about expectations. Here's the abridged story:
We went to Minneapolis for the weekend,me and my hubby totally kid free. How can that not in itself be fabulous? But for all the miriad of reasons and experiences had I return with tears coming to my eyes whenever I think back to this weekend I expected great things from and returned hurt and disappointed by.
So a disappointment it was. My first hint should have been the pressure I was putting on this trip to be fabulous, because it's the last one I was planning to take for a while due to the twins.
I coined it in my head "my last hurrah" and I guess it still was.
Anyway, when I finally got home and was able to pour out my heavy heart to God and cry about my disappointment, he met me. I expected/even wished he would have pointed out all the reasons this disappointment was my fault to begin with and how i shouldn't have done blah blah blah to have accomplished the outcome I wanted. How if I did it over again I could "fix it" and make it perfect. But he didn't.
I just had this picture of him sitting beside me, with me, arm around me saying over and over just how truly sorry he was that I was so hurt and disappointed. What a great God. He is a much better friend and parent than I have been because this helped me much more than the I told you so's and well you shouldn't have's I am used to receiving and dishing out.
Bottom line. Disappointments are painful and are as much a part of life as happy surprises and unexpected gifts. Like winning a car. Like having twins. Some disappointments truly can be avoided and others just are part of living on this planet.
I was so touched that the God I know with all of his wisdom and splendor took the time to sit and hurt with me amid one of life's disappointments.
We went to Minneapolis for the weekend,me and my hubby totally kid free. How can that not in itself be fabulous? But for all the miriad of reasons and experiences had I return with tears coming to my eyes whenever I think back to this weekend I expected great things from and returned hurt and disappointed by.
So a disappointment it was. My first hint should have been the pressure I was putting on this trip to be fabulous, because it's the last one I was planning to take for a while due to the twins.
I coined it in my head "my last hurrah" and I guess it still was.
Anyway, when I finally got home and was able to pour out my heavy heart to God and cry about my disappointment, he met me. I expected/even wished he would have pointed out all the reasons this disappointment was my fault to begin with and how i shouldn't have done blah blah blah to have accomplished the outcome I wanted. How if I did it over again I could "fix it" and make it perfect. But he didn't.
I just had this picture of him sitting beside me, with me, arm around me saying over and over just how truly sorry he was that I was so hurt and disappointed. What a great God. He is a much better friend and parent than I have been because this helped me much more than the I told you so's and well you shouldn't have's I am used to receiving and dishing out.
Bottom line. Disappointments are painful and are as much a part of life as happy surprises and unexpected gifts. Like winning a car. Like having twins. Some disappointments truly can be avoided and others just are part of living on this planet.
I was so touched that the God I know with all of his wisdom and splendor took the time to sit and hurt with me amid one of life's disappointments.
2 Comments:
Wow...this is different than the "how was your weekend" conversation we just had on the phone!!!
I'll need more details someday, my friend.
I think God really likes you!
And I do too!
God IS good!
As Cheryl and I say to each other,
"True Word My Sistren!"
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