Mayhem and Motherhood: Good Morning!!

Saturday, January 28, 2006

Good Morning!!

wow, i've been awake since 4:30 you'd think I should be grouchier.

Not sure if this is the last stretch for me but I feel GREAT! (say it just like Tony the Tiger does)
Kinda weird but I've just got a lot of energy and feel like going out and chatting and journalling. I haven't felt this good since before I got pregnant. Isn't that weird? Just after you assume it goes from bad to worse it gets great? Maybe babies are on their way.

anyway, not that I'm complaining. Just quite intriguing.

I'm getting geared up to tell "my story" at our "cell" group this week. (note: the people in Altona find it offensive if I call "cell"- "housegroup" thus the quotations :) tee hee

All my middle of the night awakenings these past few weeks have given me lots of time to reflect on my life and contemplate the journey that has brought me to this place I am now living. I am actually quite excited to share about myself and feel like I'm giving an oral presentation for a class by the way I've organized when I'm going to say what and what props I will use etc.

It's kinda nice moving someplace new where no one knows you as "so and so's little sister" or "the brat that used to steal stuff from the 7-eleven" or "the girl who ACTUALLY went out with HIM? gross" I like the idea of telling my own history based on my reality not on anyone else's interpretation of it. However in thinking of "my story" it's kinda weird how the story changes based on where you are along the journey. I would have said very different things 5 years ago as certain experiences seemed to be more significant then. And in 5 years my story may have similar threads woven through it but would be told entirely differently I assume. Isn't that interesting how unstatic even our stories are? I guess maybe until our story ends. Then you just tell it the same way everytime.

What I found interesting is thinking about where my brokeness comes from and the things I've struggled with over the years (and still do) in the context of having a relatively boring, normal, priveliged life. I can't help but think "man how many MORE issues would I have if I had been raped or abused or had divorced parents or lived in poverty or struggled with alcohol" etc.

p.s. I think this is turning into a LONG post, be warned...

I had been thinking about "shame" a few weeks ago and this reality came to me that our pain and brokeness is more common than we think. We are so ashamed of the "act" we use to express this pain and feel so "different" from you because you haven't done the same thing as we have. When if you were to look at our hearts and identify the pain among humanity there really aren't that many to seperate us. Loneliness, Rejection, Fear, Longing for Love, Worthlessness (can't think of more, but i'm sure there are). So our pain may both stem from loneliness but you act it out with drinking and drugs, I act it out with promiscuity, and the guy over there acts it out by amassing as much worth as he can. All embarrassing and "sinful" but not as different as we think.

So I will get off my soap box now...

When I was thinking about summing up "my story" I think it's really the same as your story (if I may be so bold) and the story of all humanity. The bottom line of my story is that there is someone or something that is out to steal kill and destroy me at all costs. It does not give up easily, it's super tricky, it uses ANYTHING in my life to it's advantage and it's impossible to fly under it's radar, not to mention it totally LIES and plays mind games with you. Like a really complicated girlfriend! The rest of my story goes to say that there is also someone who is for me at all costs, that will give up anything for my freedom and longs to bring truth to set me free from it all. This is the coles notes version !

Would you add anything else?
Rhonda at 7:57 AM

5 Comments:

Blogger Erica said...

I just want to say that just before I went into labour (both times) I felt great and had a rush of energy for about 24 hours.

Hmmmm...

12:30 PM  
Blogger Erica said...

Thought #2 on your post:

I think it great that you "know thyself". (or that thee knows thyself)...Isn't that apart of being able to present yourself according to your own perspective.

Its such a grown up thing to do.
Kudos!

12:34 PM  
Blogger Erica said...

Thought #3 on your post:

What will your presentation include 5 years from now. With the hindsight stuff, we always see the growth/wisdom/glory/good stuff that comes from our suffering.
In the middle of the suffering, it doesn't seem so grand.

So as wonderful as you have become, just imagine how much more amazing you will be in a few more years.

12:36 PM  
Blogger Erica said...

Thought #4 on your post:

Hmmmmm...the devil as a complicated girlfriend, there's an interesting twist in theology.

A person could start their own cult on the basis of that statement alone!

:)

12:37 PM  
Blogger Sonya said...

I didn't know you had a blog! Yay! Interested to see if the babies are a-comin'!

1:28 PM  

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