Untitled
That is because i don't know what to call this blog entry. Today I had a few things that just put me over the edge. One was a phone call from a well meaning friend who through asking all her "helpful" questions on how I was preparing for the babies left me feeling quite anxious, defeated and unprepared. I actually hung up the phone and started crying. I guess just deep set emotions that haven't found a voice as of yet.
And what I realized is that I feel quite alone on this journey. I feel like I'm the only one who believes I can do this. That I think we'll survive this but everyone is pretty skeptical. So if you're interested in what I need to hear, at the moment it's not what other people in my situation did, it's in fact just a voice to say "you totally can do this" and "god will not abandon you" and even a "I believe in you".
Pregnant people are fragile beings. I forget this myself having been on both sides of things.
So if any are interested just exactly what my plan is to get through the next ___ however long it takes until we're through, this is all I have for a plan...
1. Believe God has got my back
2. Take it one day at a time
3. Ask for help when I feel I need it
4. Enjoy every moment I possibly can
5. Take care of myself by not talking on the phone to people who stress me out.
6. Stay close to home unless I feel otherwise
7. Roll with the punches and allow myself to change ANYTHING I WANT OR SAID I"D DO
8. Eat fast food as required
9. Watch lots of t.v while breastfeeding
10. Wear my pajamas for days on end :)
The other stuff is just truly out of my control.
However I don't know how to talk to my friend about the "thing" she set off in me. My nature is to just avoid talking to her about this stuff and probably avoid questions about this matter in the future. Please post comment about how to handle this (if any insight strikes you)
And what I realized is that I feel quite alone on this journey. I feel like I'm the only one who believes I can do this. That I think we'll survive this but everyone is pretty skeptical. So if you're interested in what I need to hear, at the moment it's not what other people in my situation did, it's in fact just a voice to say "you totally can do this" and "god will not abandon you" and even a "I believe in you".
Pregnant people are fragile beings. I forget this myself having been on both sides of things.
So if any are interested just exactly what my plan is to get through the next ___ however long it takes until we're through, this is all I have for a plan...
1. Believe God has got my back
2. Take it one day at a time
3. Ask for help when I feel I need it
4. Enjoy every moment I possibly can
5. Take care of myself by not talking on the phone to people who stress me out.
6. Stay close to home unless I feel otherwise
7. Roll with the punches and allow myself to change ANYTHING I WANT OR SAID I"D DO
8. Eat fast food as required
9. Watch lots of t.v while breastfeeding
10. Wear my pajamas for days on end :)
The other stuff is just truly out of my control.
However I don't know how to talk to my friend about the "thing" she set off in me. My nature is to just avoid talking to her about this stuff and probably avoid questions about this matter in the future. Please post comment about how to handle this (if any insight strikes you)
6 Comments:
Well of course you can do it! God doesn't just give you a kid (or two!) and then walk away! You're capable, and not alone, and (I think) not afraid to ask when you need help. What more could there be?
You just keep carrying on, girl!
As to your friend... I understand how hard it is to deal with this stuff. If she's really a friend I guess you just have to choose your moment and say "y'know, this isn't really helping me right now. Could we change the subject?" But that's just my 2cents worth. I don't want to stress you out with advice ;-)
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Hi Rhonda,
I know you can do this and I think your plan is utterly appropriate. When Michael died all I could really focus on was just meeting my essential needs as a living breathing creature, and although this is a different situation, the stress and fragility and vulnerability is similar, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with caring for yourself and doing what you need to do to make it through. I know you will be great! You are great!
Nicole
Rhonda, the key is that you ARE doing it! Regardless of what comes your way, you are walking through it, one day at a time. Some days are going to be easier than others, for sure, but you are strong and able to move through every challenge you face, with God's grace of course. He has not blessed you with these children to leave you hung out to dry! He loves you and your family and knows what's best for all of you. He will work everything out for your good!
I got the gift receipt and note in the mail - thanks again! Maybe I'll wear her cute little jeans to homegroup tonight.
NOT to be another voice asking you if you're ready...but just curious how things have been going with massage/chiro etc? Any news?
Re: Friend Issue...
I think conflict sucks.
I try to avoid it as much as possible!
:)
I'm the last person on earth to give advice on how to deal with conflict so I won't.
Instead, I'll just say that I think you have reserves of strength, energy, grace, and endurance that you can't even imagine. Whatever you need will be there when you need it, probably not before, and probably not after but moment to moment you'll get what you need and you'll get it done.
You're gonna have such nice babies...YAY!!!
You rock!
Unlike conflict, which sucks!
Just rereading my comments and wishing I had them on magnets on my fridge!!
You guys are so great. Thanks for all the support and encouragement,
I've really breathed it in and it's brought life.
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